I always have a hard time hitting publish for posts like these. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately and I drew pictures and everything, so here it goes…
Depression is a bitch. It seems like it affects everyone at one point or another. Some people are clinically depressed and others just get a bout of it every so often.
I consider myself a pretty upbeat person, despite that, I struggled with depression a couple of months ago. Interestingly enough, I didn’t realize what I was struggling with until I got out of it. That’s probably often the case with rookies, such as myself.
A few months ago, I was super busy with school, spending time with family and friends and just generally maintaining a social life; I had no time for myself whatsoever. When school ended, I crashed.
At first, I thought I was just being lazy. I would spend entire weekends in bed; not because I was sick, I just had no drive to do anything. I wasn’t seeing my friends, I wasn’t calling anybody, I would leave the house only if someone dragged me kicking and screaming out of my comfy little rut.
This laziness quickly took over the work week and I found myself doing nothing 7 days a week. I thought I was burnt out, I thought I needed some time to regroup. After a month, I started questioning what was wrong with me.
I started forcing myself to go out and do things, to not go to bed as soon as I got home at night and to leave my house (and my bed) on weekends.
At first, I went through this schizophrenic battle every weekend, but eventually, I looked forward to going out and doing things. I kept up with it and soon enough I was back to my regular self. It was at that point that I realized I had been depressed.
Which has got me thinking about depression in general; a few people in my life, including my brother, struggle with it on a daily basis. My bout of depression was measured in weeks; my brother’s depression is measured in years. I got out of my funk by giving myself a pep talk and making myself go out and do things. Danny is on medication and sees a psychologist; something tells me his depression is a bit more complex.
I could have used someone to give me a kick in the pants in order to get me out of my rut. But I think I’ll get kicked to the curb if I become that person for my brother. He’ll likely think I’m harping on him and no one wants to be around that. Can you blame them?
Where’s the happy medium? How much is too much and how much is not enough? How do you know if you’re making a difference, or making them distance themselves from you?