I’ve been single for some time now. Rather than doing math and becoming depressed, I’ll leave the actual number out and stick with ‘some time’.

The first while, it was fine, interesting actually. ‘Finding yourself’ and having ‘me time’. But it all gets very old, very fast. Over the last while I’ve found myself wanting someone, anyone, more than before. Not because I’m unhappy or unfulfilled or anything… I’m just tired of being alone. Also, I need to get some.

So despite my better judgment, I decided to embark upon the internet to help me find a match. After a ‘bad experience’ on a free-dating website, I quickly thrust my credit card into my computer, shrieking “Take my money, just so that doesn’t happen again!!!!!!!!”

For the past 5 days, I’ve been living the paid-dating-site lifestyle. It’s really not that much different than the lifestyle I was previously living except that now my credit card is being billed and I have something less interesting to look at on the internet.

So, a couple days ago, I get a ‘match’; it’s a guy named “CJ”, he’s 25 and lives in Vancouver. I immediately thought of this guy I went to school with last year that has the same name.

Side story: Me & CJ had a class for 15 weeks together this time last year. During the first few weeks of class, our preferred seats got closer and closer together, until we sat next to each other every class, no matter what. Eventually, people wouldn’t even take that seat beside me because they knew that CJ was going to want to sit there. But because I’m a moron, I wasn’t really sure if we were into each other. I asked him out for a drink, he accepted, we went out, but it all seemed buddy-buddy. We emailed, talked on the phone, went and watched a movie together and that’s about where it ended. Every so often he’ll call me or email me and we’ll talk and then it ends. Very mind-gamey. But because I liked him, I’ve always kinda held out hope; this hope is rekindled every time I get the email or the phone call from him.

So anyways, I get matched up with CJ, 25, Vancouver. I immediately think of CJ from class. Even though I know CJ from class is 8 years older than me (I’m not 17) and he lives in PoMo. I was disappointed when I opened CJ’s profile and, alas, it wasn’t him.

So yesterday, I get an email announcing that I have a new match “CJ, 39, PoCo”… Immediately, I thought, hey, maybe it’s CJ… ya right… he doesn’t live in PoCo and he’s only 8 years older than me. But when I logged on and looked at his profile it was him. I burst out laughing. I didn’t know what to do. So I logged off and went out, as planned, barely thinking about him all day.

Like most dating sites, “who viewed you” is an option on this site, so I knew that he would know that I looked. I was expecting something. I get home late after volunteering all day, check my email and nothing. Log onto the site and he hasn’t viewed my profile. I was slightly disappointed.

This morning, I wake up, check my email and I have a notification. This site has a way of ‘sending a match a message’, without having to ‘send a match a message’. It’s a way of ‘saying I’m interested’ without having to ‘say I’m interested’ and worry about what they’ll say in return. It’s basically a drop-down menu and you select the message you want to send. Wink! I like your pics. We live close, let’s chat. I like you, let’s meet up. Let’s get to know each other, slowly.

So I log in and the message is one of these drop-down messages and it’s from CJ and it’s the “let’s get to know each other slowly” option.

I think he’s fucking with me.